I can relate to Asaph. In Psalm 73 he writes, “I almost lost my footing, my feet were slipping, and I was almost gone. I envied the proud…they seem to live such painless lives…they don’t have troubles like other people. They are not plagued with problems like everyone else.”
Sometimes it appears that everyone is managing better than I am, and I begin wondering does giving God first place in my life really make a difference? Does time in His word and in fellowship with His children really matter? “Did I keep my heart pure for nothing?… I get nothing but trouble all day long and every morning brings pain.”
Thinking like this leads to spiritual astigmatism. As I am trying to navigate life, I believe I am seeing clearly, yet my vision is distorted.
The more I attempt to figure it out, the more the distortion is magnified. “I tried to understand why the wicked prosper” and why these difficulties are happening to me.
Until I was fitted with lenses of truth. “Then I went into your sanctuary, O God, and I finally understood…Then I realized my heart was bitter and I was torn up inside. I was so foolish and ignorant that I must seem like a senseless animal to you.”
The only treatment I have found for my spiritual astigmatism is taking my eyes off what other people seem to be experiencing and to fix my eyes on upon Jesus. Only then. my vision begins clearing.
Instead of meditating on what my life seems to be lacking, I meditate on what is true. “I still belong to you; you hold me with your right hand. You guide me with you counsel, leading me into a glorious destiny.”
“My health may fail, and my spirit grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; He is mine forever.”